Valentine’s Day is one of the most emotionally loaded moments in the marketing calendar. People either love it, ignore it or roll their eyes at it entirely. That is what makes personalisation such a delicate balancing act. Used well, it feels thoughtful and relevant. Used badly, it feels intrusive… and occasionally a bit creepy.
Consumers are very clear about what they want from brands. The DMA’s Email Benchmarking Report shows that targeted, personalised communication outperforms generic sends across almost every metric.
At the same time, broader research indicates that 71 percent of consumers expect personalised interactions, and 76 percent get frustrated when they receive content that is irrelevant or clearly untailored
So yes, personalisation matters. The trick for Valentine’s is to use it with the right emotional temperature.
What makes Valentine’s personalisation feel creepy?
A few things regularly cross the line:
Using overly intimate language
Jumping straight to “We know you’re planning something romantic…” when the customer has never indicated that is a fast way to get ignored.
Over-analysing behaviour
You can nudge someone who revisited a category page. What you should not do is say:
“We noticed you looked at this gift seven times last night.”
Assuming romantic status
Not everyone is partnered. Not everyone wants to be. Some people are celebrating friends, family, pets or themselves.
Using sensitive data
Financial, health or demographic information should never play a role in Valentine’s recommendations.
When in doubt: keep it light, keep it respectful, and only use data your audience expects you to use.
The personalisation that does work
There is a sweet spot between “cold and generic” and “weirdly specific”. Stick to these types of data and you’ll stay safely on the right side.
Name and basic profile
A simple “Hi Sam” still works.
Past category engagement
If someone browsed fragrance last year, show them updated options. If they shop homeware, suggest cosy night-in items.
Channel preference
If a segment reliably opens email but never clicks SMS, act accordingly. You can manage channel preferences smoothly using Mail+ Email Marketing, Mail+ SMS and Spotler Message for WhatsApp.
Zero-party data
If someone has explicitly told you their size, style, gifting preferences or budget, this is the safest (and most effective) data of all. Tools like Spotler Activate help you store and activate this responsibly.
Valentine’s segments worth tailoring for
The romantics
Engage every year, click gift guides, shop early.
The last-minuters
Browse heavily in the days before the 14th. Perfect candidates for helpful reminders and “order-by” messages.
The self-gifters
An increasingly important group. They respond well to self-care, wellness and “treat yourself” messaging.
The Anti-Valentine’s crowd
People who prefer friendship, humour and alternatives to romance. Light-hearted, inclusive content works well here.
The loyal-but-quiet
They may not engage with Valentine’s at all, but they’re valuable year-round. Keep messaging gentle and non-romantic.
How to keep the tone human, not intrusive
A few rules go a long way.
Explain the why
“Based on what you browsed last week…” is more transparent and more trustworthy.
Offer options
Let people choose between romantic, non-romantic or general content.
A simple preference interaction inside Mail+ Automation can manage this seamlessly.
Keep humour light and self-aware
A line like “We promise we’re not reading your diary – just your clicks” can warm up a message without making it weird.
Use inclusive language
Avoid assuming who people love or how they celebrate.
What to measure this February
Personalisation only works if it works. To keep it healthy, track:
- Opens and clicks across personalised vs non-personalised versions
- Conversions across your key Valentine’s segments
- Unsubscribe and complaint rates (your early warning system)
- Cross-channel lift when email, SMS and WhatsApp work together
- Longer-term effects on retention beyond February
All of this is easy to analyse inside Spotler Analytics.
The DMA’s “Getting Returns on Email” report is clear: brands that test, learn and optimise consistently earn stronger returns
Final thought
Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to connect, not a licence to overstep. Customers reward brands that personalise with empathy, respect and relevance. Stay transparent, stay human and stay in the data lanes people expect, and your Valentine’s campaigns will feel thoughtful, not intrusive.
