Every marketer has a segment they avoid looking at too closely: the cold list. Subscribers who have not opened anything in months, sometimes years, quietly draining deliverability and pulling down your averages. Valentine’s is the perfect moment to run a “breakup email”. A light, human, self-aware message that either rekindles the relationship or ends it gracefully.
And the results are worth it. The DMA’s Email Benchmarking Report shows that senders with clean, consistently engaged lists enjoy up to 3x better inbox placement and dramatically lower complaint rates. Meanwhile, re-engagement emails can recover between 8–12 percent of seemingly lost subscribers.
A breakup email is not about guilt. It is about clarity, consent and respect.
Why breakup emails work
Breakup emails help you achieve three important things:
1. Reset expectations
You remind subscribers that they are in control. Something 90 percent of email users say is important to them (Litmus Consumer Engagement Study).
2. Improve deliverability
Mailbox providers reward you when you stop sending to uninterested contacts. Adobe’s deliverability reports confirm that suppressing inactive subscribers is one of the strongest signals of a healthy sender reputation.
3. Recover real relationships
A small but meaningful percentage of subscribers click “yes, keep me,” especially when you offer preference-based content.
Breakup emails are proof that a soft touch often performs better than aggressive reactivation.
The Valentine’s twist that makes them land
February is full of metaphors, which makes it a great moment to inject a bit of humour or warmth. Try subject lines like:
- “Are we breaking up?”
- “It’s not you, it might be our subject lines.”
- “Can we still be in your inbox?”
- “One last love note from us…”
Inside the email:
- Explain that they have not engaged in a while
- Offer simple “Yes, keep me” / “No thanks” buttons
- Suggest preference options
- Reassure them that saying “no” is genuinely fine
Keep it short, honest and human – not needy.
Use Mail+ Automation to automatically suppress anyone who ignores the message.
How to build a breakup flow that respects the reader
Step 1: Identify your cold segment
Common definitions include:
- No opens for 6–12 months
- No clicks within the last 9 months
- No engagement across any channel for a set period
Spotler’s segmentation tools make this easy to set up.
Step 2: Send a two-touch re-engagement sequence
Brands that send two attempts (not one) see up to 50 percent more reactivation, according to recent re-engagement studies, but never more than two. After that, it becomes intrusive.
Step 3: Let silence count as an answer
If they do not respond, remove them from marketing sends.
This is a trust-builder, and trust is one of the strongest predictors of future engagement.
Why breakup emails boost deliverability
Seasonal periods like Valentine’s often cause marketers to increase send volumes. But Adobe’s Email Deliverability Best Practices report warns that sudden spikes combined with low engagement can lead to filtering and throttling.
Breakup emails help you avoid:
- High bounce rates
- Low open rates
- Complaints
- Spam folder placement
The DMA’s report shows that list hygiene is directly correlated with inbox placement – and inbox placement is the number one predictor of email ROI.
In other words: clean list, healthy reputation, higher February performance.
What to measure
Use Spotler Analytics to track:
- Re-engagement rate
- “Keep me subscribed” clicks
- Preference updates
- Unsubscribe rates (healthy, not negative)
- Deliverability improvements over the next 4–6 weeks
- Complaint rate reduction
Brands that actively maintain engagement hygiene see up to 40 percent higher engagement throughout the rest of the year (DMA).
A breakup email is not the end of the relationship. It is either the reset you needed, or the closure your data deserves.
